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April 17, 2014

What's New?

  • CORE Focus Group: There are just a few spots left in the next CORE Focus Group, being held Saturdays April 26 and May 3. Register now!
  • Webinar: The webinar on Shepherding the Emotionally Destructive Marriage is available for replay for anyone who missed it. Click here.
  • New DVDs NOW available: Two new 2-disc DVDs.  One on The Emotionally Destructive Relationship and one on Counseling Strategies that Work for the Emotionally Destructive Marriage. Look for them in the store.

    EMDR Counseling  EDR Seeing Stopping


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Five Words that Can Change Your Life

I’ve been meditating over Lent on how to make the Presence of Jesus more of a reality in my everyday life.   I firmly believe that if we knew that God was in us and with us, we would not be so afraid, or bored, so lonely, or lost. We would not be seeking pleasure in sinful ways, or stuffing ourselves full of food or spending our money on more and more stuff, or looking for love in all the wrong places.  Our lives would be rich and meaningful and full of purpose and direction.  Jesus told us, “I have come that they might have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10).”

But truth be told, most of us, even as believers, don’t live in that reality. After Christ’s resurrection but before he left this world to ascend into heaven, he said five words to his followers that changed their lives.  He said, “I am with you always.” (Matthew 28:20)

Let’s look at these five simple words more closely and see how they can change us too.

He said, “I am with you always.” Who exactly is making this claim?  Jesus says this after his resurrection and when the disciples only now are starting to get the big picture.  He is not just their friend, their companion, their teacher. Nor is he a religious leader or future king of Israel. Jesus proved that he is the Son of God. He was raised from the dead. He is the great I AM. He is the one who is omniscient, and omnipresent. He is sovereign, He is love, and He is good. It is HE who promises that He is with us always. The disciples realized, if God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31).  

How about you, dear ones?  If you knew He, the great I AM, is always Present with you, what would you fear? How would you change? What would be different in the way you lived today?

Not only is Jesus declaring that the great I AM is with us, but that He IS with us, right here, right now. He doesn’t say He will be with his disciples sometime in the future, or later on in Heaven but he said "I am" (present tense) with you always.  If you believed that Jesus is with you right now, what difference would that make in the choices you make today? How would you feel differently?

Jesus told his followers that “I am with YOU always.”  Every individual is important to God and He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). He is at our right hand (Psalms 16:8). His Presence is promised. Paul speaks of that great mystery, Christ in us (Colossians 1,2).  The reality of that promise is not our biggest problem in our spiritual journey.

Our problem is that we are not aware of His Presence. Remember in the Old Testament, after Jacob’s dream where he heard the Lord promising that He was with him and would protect him, he awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it.” (Genesis 28:16).  

How about you?  If we only could only see (be aware) that the great “I AM is with US” it would make all the difference in how we feel, what we choose, and how we go about our day. Our step would be lighter, our eyes brighter, because we would not only be looking at our day from our own vantage point, but we’d also have the eyes of God who gives us a wide angle lens on things. He infuses meaning and purpose into traffic jams and spilt milk, job losses and relationship pain.

Jesus said, "I am with you ALWAYS." Not sometimes, not only when you’re listening to Him, not only when you’re good and faithful, but ALWAYS. ALWAYS.  ALWAYS. He says He is with us when we’re sleeping and when we’re awake.  When we’re in church and when we’re watching something we shouldn’t.  He is with us when we are loving on our children, and when we’re screaming at our spouse. He is with us in our success and in our failure.

Friends, my prayer is that we would learn to be more aware that HE is PRESENT ALWAYS.  Knowing God’s Presence changes the way we respond to difficult and stressful life situations. We would not get so angry or aggravated.  We would not feel so alone or rejected.  We would experience peace, not chronic anxiety and worry. We would feel joy instead of emptiness. We would be filled with hope instead of despair.

Sarah Young, the author of a wonderful devotional book, Jesus Calling wrote, “A renewed mind is Presence-focused.” I like that. Start today.  Remember, you are not alone or helpless. God is with you always. Let your mind dwell on and heart be filled with this truth.  If you do, I promise, it will change you.

P.S. I want to warmly welcome ALL new subscribers who have joined our community since last month! You are going to love the resources you find to help you grow. I'm thrilled to have you here!

P.P.S. Don't keep this to yourself! Forward this newsletter to your friends and colleagues or send them to www.leslievernick.com so they can register for themselves.

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Leslie Answers Your Questions

How Do I Trust God Over the Lies in My Heart?

Question:  I am 61 years old. My marriage has been in recovery for some time; God has brought us a long way. There is still much distance. Neither of us really know how to be close; I still have a lot of fear, but not nearly what it used to be.

My problem is that for most of my life, my identity has been defined by the men and strong personalities in my life so that I struggle to be able to trust my own ideas, convictions, faith, the calling of God on my life.

I need to allow God, in His love and grace, to define who I am. I need to have a much stronger root or foundation in His truth for me, but I feel paralyzed to know how to make this shift.

Answer: You are not alone. Many people find trusting what God says above the words of mere mortals very tough. But think about it. Why would anyone allow another flawed human being to determine his or her value and worth?


Add your (or view other) comments to Leslie's answer to this question by clicking the link below.


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Connect with me:


Five Words that Can Change Your Life


Coaching Spots Available



Take a look at the upcoming events to watch for from Leslie.



The Emotionally Destructive Relationship (2 DVD set): Seeing and Stopping it  Plus see the winners of the previous giveaway!



How Do I Trust God Over the Lies in My Heart?


For more information on Leslie's coaching program, please click below.

Coaching Programs



EDR Seeing Stopping

The Emotionally Destructive Relationship (2 DVD set): Seeing and Stopping it

Is emotional abuse really abuse?  How do you know and what should you do?

This 2-part DVD was taped live in Sarasota Florida.  In it you will learn how to:
  • Recognize the characteristics of a destructive relationship
  • Identify the essential ingredients of a healthy relationship
  • Discern the difference between unconditional love and unconditional relationship
  • Gain the courage to speak the truth when the timing is right
  • Determine when to keep trying and when you need to change your approach.

To win, please use this form to submit your name and email address by midnight on Sunday, April 30th.

The winners of The Secret Language of Successful Couples by Bill & Pam Farrell are: Barbara H and Cynthia W.


May 10 Overcoming Powerlessness Banquet, Lancaster, PA

May 16-17 Women's Conference with Pennsville Baptist Church. Mt Pleasant, PA

Invite Leslie to speak at one of your events.
Call us at 1-610-298-2842
leslie@leslievernick.com or
visit www.leslievernick.com



"Coaching with Leslie Vernick helped me recognize and replace my old destructive relational habits with healthy new ways to approach my spouse. Now I’m beginning to live and relate from my CORE, a place that keeps me focused on the LORD and is so strong to rescue me from feeling like I’m drowning in my circumstances and emotions. Now my marriage is on a renewed and better track.  I can definitely see a
positive turn in my attitude and this, by the grace of God, has invited my spouse to begin to relate to me differently too; the LORD is at work! Leslie’s approach was both practical and spiritual.  She provided scripture to bolster me along the way and her suggestions were right on target to help.  To anyone wanting to escape the burden of a repetitious harmful behaviors in life I would recommend, without reservation,  Leslie Vernick as a coach!"

— SH


Leslie wants to help you grow in your personal and relational effectiveness. Send your questions about dealing with difficult people, stress, or relationship issues to:


Then, visit Leslie's Blog as she posts her responses to one question per week.

Note: Due to the volume of questions that Leslie receives, she is unable to respond to every question.