Thank you again for visiting my website. I wanted to let you know a little bit more about my background, my vision and my work.
One of the reasons I’m so passionate about helping people in difficult and destructive relationships is because I know what it feels like to be in one.
My own painful and destructive relationship with my mother began in my childhood, but it did not stop when I grew up. Even as an adult, I feared her temper. We could not communicate, and she would not or could not acknowledge that she hurt me.
When I was eight years old, my parents went through an ugly divorce. My younger sister, brother, and I went to live with our mother. After years of enduring mom’s alcoholism and abusive behavior, my father finally gained custody of us. My mother remarried and eventually moved to another state. She chose not to stay closely involved with her children.
For more than fifteen years, during my adulthood, I didn’t see or speak to my mom. Before that time, my contact with her was sporadic and always tense. She didn’t attend my wedding, nor was she present when my son was born or my daughter was adopted from Korea. She never shared Christmas with us or invited my family to visit her.
The helplessness, confusion, frustration and hurt can be overwhelming at times. It can be tricky, and sometimes risky, to navigate through it in a God-honoring way.
Even as a Christian counselor, I struggled with how to honor my mother without losing myself.
I eventually learned
- how and when to set appropriate boundaries
- how to confront and when to forbear
- how to overcome evil with good
- and how to let go of all those negative messages swirling around in my head.
The Church has been rather slow to acknowledge the validity of emotional abuse, especially in marriage. My prayer is that God would use me and my written materials to be an advocate for a group of people who have been overlooked and oppressed as well as give them biblical and practical tools to get healthier and possibly turn their relationship around. I don’t want the next generation to repeat the same mistakes.
I am a national and international speaker, author, licensed clinical social worker, consultant and relationship coach with an expertise on the subjects of personal and spiritual growth, marriage improvement, conflict resolution, depression, child abuse, destructive relationships and domestic violence.
My book, The Emotionally Destructive Relationship is in its 9th printing and enables people to identify the root issues of dysfunction and stop destructive patterns in any relationship.
Other books I’ve written include:
I’ve been married to the same man for 38 years and we have two grown children, and three grandchildren.
Something you don’t know about me but would probably find surprising is that I have a PA motorcycle license. I don’t like driving big motorcycles but my husband and I enjoy riding around town in our scooters. I didn’t like being a passenger on the back of my husband’s Harley Davison so we decided I needed to learn to drive my own.
I hope this gives a little insight into my work, my passion and my personal life. If you haven’t already, be sure to sign up for your FREE presentation “Does God Really Want Me to be Happy?” – and subscribe to the blog so you can get weekly Bible-based relationship advice.